Friday, February 29, 2008
Good Sign You Have A Drinking Problem ...
Family Photo, Why Bother ??? Got It From Ronald ...
I Got My New Power Wheelchair Today ...
Redneck Mansion, Got It From Cary ...
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Dudley And Dudleys Wife Went Out And ...
did their civic duty today and voted early in the Primary Election. I think the photo above pretty well describes how a lot of people will feel when they cast their ballots in November in the Presidential Election given the poor choice of candidates.
I am glad I voted anyway, it always makes me feel better and then gives me the right to complain about it when our elected officials stick it to the citizens. I never could understand how some people that never vote feel they have the right to complain.
This is the first time I have ever taken advantage of the early voting option. Being disabled it makes it easier. I can still stand and walk for short distances but I can not stand up for an extended period of time due to the muscle weakness in my legs from the muscular dystrophy. One of these days I will probably have to start voting by mail. That is unless I can ever save up the money to buy a wheel chair lift for my truck so I can use my power wheel chair away from the house.
Before we voted we went by the bank drive through and went to eat at Sonic. Dudley sent a text message after voting and asked Dudleys daughter if she wanted us to bring her lunch. Of course she did so we went back by the Sonic and got her lunch and took it to her at school. Of course she would die if we suggested we go into the school cafeteria and eat lunch with her.
Back when she was in elementary school, we both enjoyed going and eating with our kids in the school cafeteria once or twice a year. Those days are long gone and have been since they went into middle school and it suddenly became very uncool for a kid to eat with their parent in the school cafeteria.
I think Dudleys wife is enjoying the time away from work, but she is getting tired already of sitting around the house "resting." She is taking her medication and checking her blood pressure three times a day.
We are anxious for her to go back to the doctor next week. We have a lot of questions we have thought to ask since her last visit.
When Dudleys daughter came out to the truck to get her lunch, I handed it to her with my right hand and at the same time stuck an "I Voted Early" sticker on her back. I wonder how long it took for her friends to see it and ask her about it?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Why I Don't Like Snakes ...
Mournful Passing, Got It From Ronald ...
Correct Way to Arrest a Terrorist ...
Oh no, they violated his civil rights!
Amazing Basketball Player ...
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Scan Of Dudleys Brain, Can't Decide If I Want To Be Angry Or Happy ...
An Old Prospector And A Tired Old Mule, Got It From Big Sis ...
An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day.
He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never did dance. I just never wanted to.
A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, 'Well you old fool, you're gonna' dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing. When the gunslinger fired his last bullet he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound. The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet.
The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the shotgun.
The old man asked, 'Did you ever kiss a mule square on the ass?
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, 'No. But I've always wanted to!!!!!!'
The lesson from this story
1. Don’t Waste Ammunition
2. Don’t Mess With Old Prospectors
Pretty Accurate Statement Don't You Think ???
If You Live In Texas, This Is Going To Be Your New ...
Monday, February 25, 2008
Dudley And Dudleys Wife Got Up Early And Went ...
to the doctors office. We had to go sign in as a walk in, did not have an appointment. The waiting room was overflowing with sick people and kids. The flu has hit this area really hard recently.
I do not understand why people choose to take their small children to a family doctor instead of a pediatrician. Both our kids have always gone to a pediatrician and my soon to be 19 year old son still goes to one. I guess it is the parents choice for whatever reason but I can't say I think it is a wise one.
After a two hour wait, we finally got to go in and see the doctor. I have been going to this guy for close to ten years and like him. They took my wife's blood pressure and it is still way too high despite taking medication since Saturday. The doctor prescribed an additional medication and told her to obtain a blood pressure monitor and check it three times per day and if too high to take the second pill. She is going back in a week to follow up.
Dudleys wife seems to be getting over the flu faster than Dudley. Dudley has a bad cough and has developed a bad sinus infection so Dudley got a prescription for an antibiotic and a shot in the butt. We were both relieved to get out of there for sure.
We went by the drug store and dropped off our prescriptions and then went and got take out Mexican food. We went home and ate and rested a while, then Dudley drove Dudleys wife to Wally World Super Center and she went in and purchased a Blood Pressure Monitor. I was proud of her, she did not buy the least expensive one. She bought the mid priced unit and when we got home, Dudley hooked it up and read the instructions and she checked her BP. It was too high so she took the new pill. Hopefully it will go down, will check it again in just a few minutes.
Dudleys daughter did not have to go to school today. It was a teacher in service day. She enjoyed sleeping in and spent the afternoon with her best friend who is a cheer leader at their school. She will have to get up early and go to school again in the morning. Dudley and Dudleys wife can try to sleep late tomorrow. We may not have much luck, neither of us has been sleeping well at all since we came down with the flu. Dudley has trouble sleeping all of the time. I think it has probably been over twenty years since I really had a good nights sleep.
One good thing that has come from this is that Dudleys wife has finally agreed to go have a sleep study done. I have been trying to get her to go for years to have one. I think she has undiagnosed sleep apnea. Sleeping hooked up to a machine is not a lot of fun but I really think in my case anyway, the Bipap machine and oxygen concentrator is probably keeping me alive.
They say growing old is not for sissies, I think they are probably right on that count.
Blogger finally fixed the spell checker!!!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Dudley And Wife Had An Exciting Day Yesterday ...
It was Dudleys wife, she was at the doctors office and said they had just taken her blood pressure and it was so high, they were calling an ambulance to take her to the hospital. I told her I would call and round up the family and we would meet the ambulance at the hospital. Dudley called everyone and we all took off from different parts of town headed to the hospital.
We all arrived about the same time in three different vehicles. We went into the emergency room and inquired at the front desk and they said she had not been brought in and the ambulance had not called over the radio. Dudley started calling and Dudleys wife was not answering her cell phone and Dudley called the doctors office and got a recording saying they were closed.
After a good twenty minute wait, they finally said the ambulance had called and they were bringing her into the emergency room. After a while they finally let us go into the room and see her and she seemed normal but related her blood pressure had been really high. She had no symptoms what so ever.
She related it took the ambulance about one hour to arrive at the doctors office from the time they were called. So much for speedy service. She said they put her on the gurney and rolled her out through the waiting room in the doctors office. On the way out they crashed the gurney into the glass door, she said it is a wonder it did not break. The doctor at the ER gave her some medication and after a time her blood pressure came down back to normal.
She was on medication until a few years ago and then quit taking it because the doctor whom she liked quit taking her insurance and she had to change doctors. I think she has learned her lesson and will take her medicine from now on. I certainly hope she has anyway.
We both still feel like crap from the flu. Dudley is taking his wife to the doctor in the morning. Maybe they will do something about her sore throat.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Spanish For Your Nanny ...
Got It From Cary.
Ouch That Had To Hurt, Got It From Cary ...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Dudley And Wife Are Both Sick Today ...
I don't think we have the flu like Frank did but we have some kind of virus or upper respiratory infection. We both feel like crap and may have caught something from Dudleys daughter as she is just getting over some kind of crud. We have not been throwing up and running the high fever that Frank had so I doubt we have the flu.
Dudleys wife and daughter took Frank back to A&M last Sunday. We have been checking in with him every few days and he seems to be doing ok. He is going to be coming home again Friday so it will be good to see him again. His birthday is next week, he will be 19. If only I could have known at age 19 what I know now at age 48. Damn but I have learned a lot in the last thirty years or so.
It has turned cold around here again. Should start warming up though. It will be close to 80 degrees one day and then the next day the high will not get out of the thirties. No wonder everyone is getting sick around here.
I got a letter from our Mortgage company today. I was afraid to open it as each year they refigure the projected balance in the escrow account and sometimes the news is not good and our house payments go up. Not this year though, our payments are going to decrease by about thirty dollars starting in April. That is not a lot but it sure beats the heck out of an increase.
Now if I could just get motivated enough to complete our tax return I would really feel like I was getting something done. A simplified tax system is starting to sound really good. I know it will never happen. Just think of all of those poor IRS agents that would put out of work.
Got It From Cary ...
Friendship, Cooperation And Love, Got It From Sparky ...
Airplane Ride, Got It From Bennie ...
An old M/Sgt. sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, 'Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?' When the attendant came by he said 'Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?' 'Yes,' said the Attendant, 'In fact, this entire crew is female.' 'My God,' he said, 'I wish I had two double scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think with only women up there in the cockpit.'
'That's another thing Sarge,' said the attendant, 'We No Longer Call It The Cock Pit.''It's The Box Office'
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Reality Check, Got It From Cary ...
Did You Ever Wonder Why, Got It From Ronald ...
When a woman wears a leather dress,
A man's heart beats quicker,
And his throat gets dry,
He goes weak in the knees,
And he begins to think irrationally.
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Ghetto Spellin Bee, Got It From Bennie ...
Leroy is a 20 year-old inner-city 5th grader. This is Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence.
1. Hotel -I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tell everybody.
2. Dictate -My girlfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb -I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose -If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum -I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rectum both.
6. Disappointment -My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Penis -I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis.
8. Israel -Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." Hesay, "Bullshit, that watch israel".
9. Undermine -There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine.
10. Acoustic -When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic, and took me to the pool hall .
11. Iraq -When we got to the pool hall, I tol' my uncle; iraq, you break.
12. Stain -My mother-in-law stopped by and I axed her, "Do you plan on stain for dinner?"
13. Fortify -I axed this ho on da street, "how much?" she say "fortify."
14. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife.
Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word:Today's word is: "OMELETTE" Let us use it in a sentence.
"I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide."
An Amish Farmer And A Muslim, Got It From Big Sis ...
An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts, 'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin geshissen.'
Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.'
The man shouts back. 'I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your gibberish. Speak English, you infidel!'
The Amish man says, 'Use two hands, You'll get more'.
Indian Chief For President, Got It From Ronald ...
Indian Chief, "Two Eagles," was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damages he's done." The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?" The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water; women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that."
Monday, February 18, 2008
Postal Service Issues Recall, Got It From Ron ...
This enraged Senator Clinton, demanded a FULL investigation! A special Postal Service Investigation Team was formed, and after several months and many dollars spent, published the following findings:
The stamp was manufactured properly.
There was nothing wrong with the glue/adhesive.
People were just spitting on the wrong side.
Happy Presidents Day From Dudleys Diary !!!
Oh My God Exclaimed The Husband, Got It From Ronald ...
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in Antigonish, Nova Scotia, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties.
'We're sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife said One Mountie.
'Tell me! Did you find her?' the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other.
One said, 'We have some bad news, some good news, and some really Great news.
Which do you want to hear first?
Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said, 'Give me the bad news first.'
The Mountie said, 'I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay.'
Oh my God!' exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, 'What's The good news?'
The Mountie continued, 'When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five Pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her.'
Stunned, the husband demanded, 'If that's the good news, what's the Great news?'
The Mountie said, 'We're going to pull her up again tomorrow.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention, Got It From Ronald ...
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. in Spanish
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie
Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney
transplant fund - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers -
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of "the great satan", 'W' Bush
12:55 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home
Talking Dog, Got It From Bennie ...
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Pick Your Favorite Caption. (I Love That Look) Got It From Bennie ...
1. "Why did I marry her? Why didn't I just put a loaded gun in my mouth? Why God, Why?"
2. "Holy crap, look at that rear end. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its 'Oversized Load' sign.
3. "Somewhere, there's two fat girls naked in a hot tub and I'm stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care.
4. "Sheesh, Rush is soo right - She does sound like Nurse Ratchett!"
5. "My God, does that woman never shut up?"
6. "Wow!! I could'a had a V8!!"
A Blonde And Her Husband, Got It From Big Sis ...
A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"
The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"
Friday, February 15, 2008
80 Year Old Fights For His Life, Stops Would Be Robbers ...
For Male Dogs ...
Got it from Linda
Dudley Is Tired Today After An Exciting Day Yesterday ...
Dudley called his wife and she told Dudley he had no business driving down there as I sure don't need to ride in the enclosed vehicle with him having the flu given my health problems and given the fact his pulmonologist has suggested it is not a good idea for Dudley to drive long distances especially alone. Dudleys wife has a strong work ethic and in the last ten years I would put her record up against anyone as far as calling in sick or taking time off is concerned. She went to her boss and told her her son was sick with the flu and she needed to leave to go get him. The cold hearted mean spirited (supervisor) told her no she could not leave until she completed the project she was working on which would entail another two or three hours.
Dudleys wife was in shock and could not believe anyone could be so heartless. Dudley was madder than hell but advised he would go pick him up and bring him home. I drove down to College Station and went to his dorm and waited for him to stagger out to the truck. He did not look too good. Talk about green around the gills. We made it home about eight last night and Dudley staggered in and collapsed in his chair. Frank staggered in and collapsed in his bed.
He is feeling a little better this morning. At least he got some sleep last night and was not throwing up anymore. He is going to be allright. I just hope and pray I do not get the flu. If I do I will have to call my neurologist and tell him and he more than likely will put Dudley in the hospital due to my weakened respiratory system resulting from my Muscular Dystrophy. Dudley got a flu shot this year but from what I am hearing, it is not working on the strain of flu that is going around.
Nominated For Joke Of The Year, Got It From Cary ...
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for the after shave.
Clinton was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife Hillary will smell that and think I've been in a whore house.'
The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you?'
Bush replied, 'Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whore house smells like.'
Another Hillary Joke, Got It From Big Sis ...
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have 3 questions:
First, whatever happened to the medical care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's 8 years in the office as President?"
"Second, why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?"
"Third, in your book you said you didn't know your husband was having an affair. Why would we ever want to to put you in charge of our nation's security if you can't figure that out? Or were you just lying about not knowing?"
Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess. When they resume, Hillary says "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question and answer time."
"Who has a question?"
A different boy raises his hand. Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have 5 questions: First, whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's 8 years in office as President?"
"Second, why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?"
"Third, in your book you said you didn't know your husband was having an affair. Why would we ever want to put you in charge of our nation's security if you can't figure that out? Or, were you just lying about not knowing?"
"Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?"
"Fifth, where's Kenneth?"
Thursday, February 14, 2008
9 Things I Hate About What People Ask, Got It From Cary ...
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
Not P.C. Lawyer Joke, Got It From Cary ...
A hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer.
Redneck Valentines Day Poem ...
You move like the bass,
On special occasions,
Like a good roll of duct tape
When you hold me real tight
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
Some men buy fine diamonds
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Dudleys Critters Doing What They Do Best ...
If She Wins In November, She's Gonna Need A Bigger Box ...
Trunk Monkey Compilation
Damn these are funny, got em from Ronald. I need to get the chaperone version for Dudleys daughter.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
If You Are Easily Offended, Don't Watch This Video
Got it from Ronald ...
For Valentines Day, Got It From Ronald ...
I Went To The Doctor Yesterday And Had Another ...
Monday, February 11, 2008
Don't Watch This If You Get Sick Easily ...
Got it from Ronald ...
What Happened The Year Dudley Was Born??? Got It From Fat Hairy Bastard ...
|In 1959 (the year you were born)|
Dwight Eisenhower is president of the US
Dudley Is Through Shopping For Franks Birthday Presents ...
When he was here last week, we went to Academy Sports and Outdoors and I bought him a Saltwater fishing shirt. I also bought him a Browning Broken Birds belted shell carrier. We bought him a new Browning BPS pump shotgun for graduation. We live just a few miles from the Fort Worth Trap and Skeet Club. He and his friends like to go shoot out there. He is not a member but can go as a guest as he has friends that are members and that work out there. This spring, one of the fraternities at A&M is having a shooting competition as a fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. He is planning on shooting to help raise money to try and help find a cure for his fathers disease. I got a good deal on the shell belt. I bought it on Ebay for a total of $19.00 and the shipping was free and I did not have to pay any tax. If I had bought this locally in a store it would have cost $40.00 or so. I buy a lot of stuff on Ebay. You can get some good deals that way. Also, given my disability it is a lot easier. Dudlelys daughter had an appointment today at the orthodontist at 2:00 PM. I had to call and cancel it because I figured out I have an appointment today at 2:00 PM at my pulmonologist. I have to go every six months and have a breathing function test done. I hate doing it because it wears me out. My lung function is somewhere around 38% of what it should be. No wonder I am tired all of the time. Imagine how you would feel if you suddenly lost 62% of your lung function. I enjoy going to see my doctor though. He is the one that was called in back in 1999 when I went into respiratory failure following surgery to repair a herniated diaphragm.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
AHS Cheerleader Kicks Official
Shouldn't have made that bad call against the Abilene High School player.
You Don't Know Jack Schit
Got It From Ronald ...
NBA OR NFL??? Got It From Ronald ...
36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71, repeat 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits, and
84 have been arrested for drunk drivingin the last year
Can you guess which organization this is?
Give up yet? . . .
Neither, it's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
This Is A Fire Rainbow, Got It From Sparky ...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Dudley And Son Spent A Most Enjoyable Day Together Yesterday ...
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