Dudleys Diary

A Yankee is driving around the back woods of Southeast Texas and he sees a sign in front of a broken-down shanty: "Talking Dog for Sale"He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in back. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there."You talk?" the Yankee asks."Yep," the dog replies.The Yankee is stunned. "So, what's your story?" he asks. The Lab looks up and says ..."Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was just a pup. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they put me in the toughest branch of the military ... the U.S. Marines. You know, 'The Devil Dogs.'"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for 8 years, but the jetting around really tuckered me out, and I knew I wasn'tgetting any younger. So, I decided to settle down."I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security. I uncovered drug dealers and terrorists and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."The Yankee is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog."Ten dollars," the owner says."Ten dollars?? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"The grizzled old Southeast Texan shakes his head."Because he's such a bullshitter. He never did any of that crap. He was in the Navy!"