Monday, March 31, 2008
Dumbest Dog in the World ...
Got It From Cary
That Ought To Slow The Economy Down, Got It From Cary ...
Making Detainees, Got It From Cary ...
Sunday, March 30, 2008
You Really Are Changing The World ...
So Much For Dudleys Surprise, Someone Let The Cat Out Of The Bag ...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
State Of The Home Mortgage Business These Days ...
Dudley And Dudleys Wife and Daughter ...
Friday, March 28, 2008
Truth In Advertising ...
Dudley Had A Visitor Today ...
Rodney Atkins---Cleaning this Gun (Come on in Boy)
Dudley Will Be Singing This Song Before Long ...
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I Got This From Compass Points ...
In Case You Have Not Seen This At GOC, Future U.S. Job Market ...
Dudley Had A Busy Day Today ...
Dudley started working on our taxes the other day and figured out he was in over his head. I have done the taxes for the last ten years without any problems but with Dudleys son being in college things are a lot more complicated. Dudley called and made an appointment with an accountant and went and met with him today. It took about an hour. Dudley is glad he went. We are going to be itemizing deductions instead of taking the standard deduction. Dudley and wife are going to come out in pretty good shape this year. We are going to get a nice little refund in addition to a nice share of George W's Economic Stimulus Package.
Dudleys wife and daughter can go ahead and start packing their bags for a trip this summer to Puerto Vallarta Mexico. Dudleys brother in law lives down there and they can stay with him for free. They will just have to pay for their air fare and expenses while they are down there. Dudleys daughter has never flown and is looking forward to doing so. Dudley does not want to get that far away from home and his doctors given his medical problems. The last time Dudley went to Mexico, he got sick as a dog and was quarantined and forbidden to leave the country by the Mexican government. You can read about that little adventure if you like by clicking here.
I am sure Dudley will figure out some other way to stimulate the economy. Dudley could buy a new gun or something. Spending money is pretty easy you know, at least it is for Dudley.
Another One Of Dudleys favorite movies.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Pay Attention Or Pay The Price, Got It From Ronald ...
Dallas Police Help 7-Year-Old Theft Victim ...
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Kawasaki ATV Commercial ...
Some Facts To Ponder, Got It From Big Sis ...
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
(Calculation) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.
Now think about this:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million..)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
(Calculation) The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner is .000188 Statistics courtesy of FBI
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
Out of concern for the public at large,
I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention
As Promised, A Photo Of Dudleys Daughter With Her New Car ...
Anyone Want To Guess What This Truck Is Used For ...
Monday, March 24, 2008
How Moses Allegedly Got The 10 Commandments, Got It From Ronald ...
Student Report Cards, Got It From Bennie ...
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Happy Easter From Dudleys Diary ...
When The Master Is Away, Got It From Linda ...
Mountain Lion In Mason Texas, Got It From Bennie ...
These pictures are from a guy out in Mason , TX . The pictures were taken from his kitchen onto his deck this year when it snowed in January. The (cat) mountain lion was watching his little kids playing on the kitchen floor. It is not a pet. In case you don't know Mason is located north of San Antonio,TX between Austin and San Angelo.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Dudley Drove Lizzies New Car Today For The First ...
Dudleys wife and daughter are going to be tied up all weekend with a youth conference for our church. It will be quiet around here with just Dudley and the dog and cat. I can not put it off any longer, I am going to have to start on doing our taxes tomorrow. Ya I know, I am putting it off one more day. they will get done, they always do. Have to do Dudleys sons taxes also but his are pretty easy.
Dudley was really saddened this morning to read of the death of The Fat Hairy Ones father. It brought tears to my eyes. For better than a year, I have been reading of his and his fathers time together. They had a special bond that only a father and his son can share. Whether they shared a meal out together or a high school football game, you could see and feel the love and respect they had for one another. I salute them both on a job well done and a life well lived.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
When I Was In My Teens, I Was Big Into Largemouth Bass ...
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Dudley Feels Like Crap Today ...
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
It Has Rained Here All Day, Which Is Good, We Need ...
Who Couldn't Use Some Of These ...
Born With A Smirk, Smart Ass For Life ...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Govenor Spitzers Last Words ...
Happy St. Patrick's Day From Dudleys Diary ...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Freedom Under Fire - 2nd Amendment In Danger? (Part 1)
Freedom Under Fire - 2nd Amendment In Danger? (Part 2)
Things You Should Never Say To A Cop ...
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Looks Like Somebody Needs Cultural Diversity Training ...
2200 Briarcrest Drive
The Bryan Police Department is seeking assistance from the public
with the following offense:
At approximately 10:37 p.m., February 28, 2008, an officer with the
Bryan Police Department responded to an assault that occurred in the
parking lot of the Super Wal-Mart on Briarcrest Drive. The victim, a
Texas A&M graduate student, stated that he was assaulted while walking
to his vehicle. An unknown male suspect approached the victim and made
disparaging comments about the victim's race and manner of clothing.
The victim informed the suspect that he did not want any trouble and
continued walking to his vehicle. The suspect then knocked the turban
off the victim's head and pushed him to the ground. The victim did not
sustain any discernible injuries. The suspect was last seen leaving
the parking lot in a white, Ford, F-150 pickup truck with a 'Saw Em
Off' horns decal in the rear window. License plate number 899NZ7 was
obtained; however, this number does not match any motor vehicle
If you witnessed or have information on this assault, please contact
the Bryan Police Department at (979) 209-5300.
6'1" to 6'3" in height
Medium to muscular build
Department of Security & University Police
College Station, TX 77843-1231
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Think Before You Speak, Got It From Ronald ...
FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes,I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.He asked if he could help me.Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with mens balls'
THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.As we were looking at the display case,the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.'My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.To this day my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished.To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now,I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!'The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room.While enjoying my taco,I smelled something funny,so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go,and he said 'No'.I kept thinking' Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,bent over, spread his cheeks ! and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,in the future, likely think before she speaks.What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak
Something To Put A Smile On Your Face From Bennie ...
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says, ' If you keep on behaving like this, you'll lose ALL your friends!'
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus, 'Send me a brother.' Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'.
What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and Mattress.
What's the difference between stress, tension, and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant. Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant. Panic is when both are pregnant.
Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, and my mom fainted, dad had a heart attack, and our neighbor ran away.
A woman asks man who is traveling with six children, 'Are all these kids yours??' The man replies sarcastically, 'No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints.'
A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between confident and confidential?' Dad says, 'You are my son. I'm confident about that. Your friend over there is also my son. That is CONFIDENTIAL!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Employees Last Day At The Sign Shop, Got It From Big Sis ...
Must Be A U.S. Congressman ...
Catching Pigs, Got It From Sparky ...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Dudley And Dudleys Son Frank Are Back From ...
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Brad Paisley - I'm Still A Guy
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Living In Texas, Got It From Big Sis ...
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Texas.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
7. "Jaw-P?" means "Did ya'll go to the bathroom?"
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar.
12. Backwards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
13. The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?".
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.
16. "No. Jew?" is a common response to the question "Did you bring any beer?".
17. You measure distance in minutes.
18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
20. You know what a "DAWG" is.
21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.
22. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete, Tabasco and Ketchup.
23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and motorsports.
24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a bit warm".
26. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as "goin' Wal-Martin" or "off to Wally World".
28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken stew weather.
29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
30. We don't need no dang driver's ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag-nabbit.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Dudley And Son Had A Nice Afternoon Today ...
we went to eat Bar-B-Que at Cousins and then went out to Cabelas. Before that we went to the gas station and I gave him the money to fill up his truck with gas at $3.09 a gallon. We had a good time and of course I bought our lunch. At Cabelas we first went to the indoor shooting gallery. It is fun but not the real thing. The guns shoot a beam of light at an infrared animated target. Last trip we tied but today Dudley won by ten points. Dudley enjoyed rubbing it in that he is the better shot but in reality with the muscle disease I have in a real shooting environment with real guns he could easily beat me. I miss the real old timey shooting galleries of my youth where you shot a real .22 caliber rifle with real ammunition at moving metal targets. They made a nice sound when you shot and hit the target. If there are any real shooting galleries like that any more I have not seen one. They may still have them at Carnivals and Fairs but I don't go to those kinds of places anymore due to my muscular dystrophy. I bought a shooting monopod for Frank to use on his hog hunting trip. I hope to go back to Arkansas deer hunting next year and if I do it will come in handy. I bought a couple of bags of Beef Jerky for our trip also. It will be good to snack on while we are riding around the ranch looking for a trophy boar hog. All in all it was a good day, I need to go to the bank, then I think I will come home and take a nap.
One Hundred Dollars, Got It From Big Sis ...
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but
nothing happened .
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00
When the postal authorities received the letter to God , USA , they decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send
the little boy a $5.00 bill.
The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write
a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed
that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC, and those assholes
deducted $95.00 in taxes!
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