Thursday, February 14, 2008
Redneck Valentines Day Poem ...
Collards is greenmy dog's name is Blueand I'm so luckyto have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilkaflapping in the breezeSofter than Blue'sand without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,which excite me in May.You ain't got no scalesbut I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okryjist a-fry'n in the pan.Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"right out of the can. You have som'a yore teeth,for which I am proud;I hold my head highwhen we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,when you shave under yore arms,well, I'm in hawg heaven,and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work,they all want to know,what I did to deservesuch a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tapeyo're there fer yore man,to patch up life's troublesand fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug-buzzin' overhead.You ain't mean like those far antsI found in my bed. Cut from the best clothlike a plaid flannel shirt,you spark up my lifemore than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tightlike a padded gunrack,my life is complete;Ain't nuttin' I lack.Yore complexion, it's perfection,like the best vinyl sidin.despite all the years,yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Piewith a RC cold drank,we go togetherlike a skunk goes with stank.Some men, they buy chocolatefor Valentine's Day;They git it at Wal-Mart,it's romantic that way.Some men git roseson that special dayfrom the cooler at Kroger."That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamondsfrom a flea market booth."Diamonds are forever,"they explain, suave and couth.But for this man, honey,these won't do.Cause yo're too special,you sweet thang you.I got you a gift,without taste nor odor,more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!
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