Dudleys Diary

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I handover shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 . 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head , isn't it?I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster..I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

Just look at this!

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.' T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.' Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.' Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'Coffee Break, do your stuff.' Coffee Break jumped to his feet....... ate the cookies........ drank the milk....... sh*t on the paper....... screwed the other three cats........ claimed he injured his back while doing so....... filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions....... put in for Workers Compensation...............and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave............

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

from the deer processor. Our venison is ready to be picked up! Frank and I are going to go pick it up on Saturday. It will be good to get out of the big city for a while and take a nice long drive out in the country. Hopefully with any luck, we will be eating fried venison steaks for dinner Saturday night!

a patrol officer on the Plano TX Police Department. That is the impression one gets anyway from reading this story. This officer deserves a promotion, it is not everyday you read about a police officer approaching a suspect holding a hostage with a knife to her throat. The officer ordered the suspect to drop his weapon and the suspect failed to comply with the officers demand. The officer "Dirty Harry" proceeded to fire several shots neutralizing the suspect who later died at the hospital. The hostage was unharmed though no doubt shaken up from the experience. This reads like a script straight out of Hollywood. We need more police officers like this, he deserves a medal.

I found a link to this game over at Home On The Range. It is pretty fun to play and Dudley somehow managed a high score of 9,856,545. Dudley will have to challenge his kids to see if they can beat it. Of course with both of them being born after the birth of the electronic video game revolution, Dudley is pretty sure they will be able to beat his high score. Dudley remembers playing "Pong" when it first came out and "Asteroids" and "Pacman" but Dudley never was all that big on playing video games. Back in those days, Dudley was a lot younger than he is now and he was a lot more mobile. He had a bass boat and a Z-28 Camaro and their were a lot more fun things to do outdoors. There were largemouth bass to be caught and whitetail bucks to be shot and mountains to be climbed in the Jeep and such. Those were the good old days. Now that Dudley's Muscular Dystrophy has progressed and with limited mobility, Dudley spends most of his time indoors and he does play a lot more video games now but he would rather be outdoors.

online by clicking here.

from the great state of Texas to the Pacific North West. We hate to see them go as they were good neighbors. They have there house up for sale and hopefully when they sell it, who ever buys it will be good neighbors as well. They are moving to a beautiful place outside of Seattle Washington. They have rented a big home on a small lake with a private boat dock and stunning views across the lake with Mount Rainier in the background. Dudley looked it up on the Internet and see there is good fishing in the lake for perch, crappie, bass, catfish and walleye. Dudley always dreamed of living in a waterfront home on a lake with a fishing boat and a boathouse and a lift. Unless Dudley can win the lottery, he will have to keep on dreaming. I hope our old neighbors enjoy their new home. Lizzie is going to miss babysitting for their daughter. They have invited Lizzie to fly up to see them this summer. Hopefully she will get to go see them for a week and see a beautiful part of the country that Dudley has never visited.

“For generations, the Wolf Brand unique blend of seasonings and good hearty beef have delivered authentic chili taste.” The original Wolf Brand Chili recipe was developed in 1895 by a Texas ranch cook and Lyman T. Davis. Recognizing that they had something good, the pair brought their specialty by wagon to the oil boomtown of Corsicana, Texas. There they sold it for five cents a bowl in front of the Blue Front Saloon. By the early 1920s, the chili's great-tasting reputation had spread, so Mr. Davis began canning the chili. At the suggestion of a local photographer, Mr. Davis' pet wolf, Kaiser Bill, was selected to grace the label. Suddenly the chili had a name, Wolf Brand, which became as famous as its flavor.

“Neighbor,

How long has it been since you had a big, thick, steaming bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?

Well, that’s too long!

by Archibald Rutledge this past Christmas Eve. Dudley has been reading this story to his family since his children were little, it is tradition around the Dudley domicile. Dudley was quite comfortable in his recliner with his bankie keeping his legs and feet warm. You can not see it but we had a fire burning in the fireplace to Dudley's right just out of the picture. Dudley drank a warm mug of hot chocolate and marshmallows. What more could a guy ask for on Christmas Eve?